Abiding

At our church meeting last night, Alan brought this hymn, by Watchman Nee that really touched me.

         
          Thou hast said Thou are the Vine, Lord and that I'm a branch in Thee,
          But I do not know the reason why I should so barren be.
         
          Bearing fruit is my deep longing, More Thy life to manifest,
          To Thy throne to bring more glory, that Thy will may be expressed.
         
          But I fail to understand, Lord, what it means-"Abide in Me", 
          for the more I seek "abiding", the more I feel I'm not in Thee.
          
          How I feel I'm not abiding;  though I pray and strongly will,
          Yet from me Thou seem distant and my life is barren still.
         
          Yet Thou are the Vine, Thou said it.  And I am a branch in Thee;
          When I take Thee as my Savior, then this fact is wrought in me.
         
          Now I'm in Thee and I need not seek into Thyself to come,
          For I'm joined to Thee already, with Thy flesh and bones I'm one.
         
          Not to "go in" is the secret.  But I'm "already in"!
          That I never may leave I'd ask Thee.  Not how I may get within.
          
          I am in, already in Thee!  What a place to which I'm brought!
          There's no need for prayer or struggling, God himself the work has wrought.
         
          Since I'm in, why ask to enter; O how ignorant I've been!
          Now with praise and much rejoicing for Thy Word, I dwell therein.
          
          Now in Thee I rest completely, with myself I gladly part;
          Thou art life and Thou art power, All in all to me Thou art.

I am so thankful that the Lord wants me, so glad that I do not have to worry about bearing fruit.  My focus is simply on Jesus Christ, and His life will flow through me.  He is the one who bears the fruit.   I can now rest completely in Him, and His work.  I am now completely free to just love Him, I do not have to do anything, or measure up to anything.  I am accepted only because He has met the standard, and stands in the gap for me.  I now know that it is not God's will for me to be a 'better Christian'.  What a relief!  It is so freeing to no longer live by the Tree of the knowledge of GOOD and evil, but by the Tree of Life, which is Christ himself!  I die, to my flesh and my soul, and it is Christ that lives through me.  He has breathed His life into me.  My spirit is now alive in Him.  There is nothing I can do that will make Him love me more, or make me worthy.  I no longer need to ask to be closer to the Lord, because He already dwells inside me, and I am in Him.  I must simply abide in Him.

          It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  ~Galatians 5:1

Fresh Start

Well, I have had this blog for about a year and a half, but I have yet to actually post anything.  I suppose it has been the idea of putting something down in writing (which seems so permanent) that has had me hesitating.  Well, my friend Ruthy has been an encouragement to me since she has started a blog of her own.  She told me to just go for it, and that if I change my mind, I can always delete my post, which may seem obvious to most people, but is certainly a relief to me.  And so, I have decided to embark upon this new journey, writing.  I will admit that I am no writer, I have always preferred more logical and concrete subjects, such as science and math, in school, but I do have a desire to document my thoughts from time to time, if for no one else but myself; to be able to go back and remember how the Lord has used my particular circumstances and surroundings to draw me closer to Him, that I may know Him more, His ways, and His heart.  And so, this is the purpose of my blog, to reveal the glimpse of the Lord, which I have seen, and I hope if anyone does come across my pages, that they will be encouraged and edified. 

With Love,
~Kim